Welcome to the August Issue of Speaking-Out-Loud write-out-loud.com's monthly E-zine to help you effectively 'talk your walk'.

If this E-zine speaks to you, then quite likely it will talk sense to your friends, family or work mates too. Please pass it along.

You might even suggest that they sign up! The page to send them to is here Speaking-Out-Loud

Remember, if you have any questions you're most welcome to ask them through my contact form. I enjoy hearing from my readers and will respond as soon as I am able.

Happy speaking,

Susan

In this Issue

If you don't have time to read the whole ezine, click on the topic that interests you. This month you will find:

• Susan's Spiel

• The Penalties of Perfection

• Dealing with Questions

• Managing Transitions

• Happiness Is ...

Susan's Spiel

The Penalties of Perfection
Have you fitted yourself out in the perfect straight-jacket? This month's Article is the antidote to perfection paralysis.

Dealing with Questions. 16 tips to step through the potential question and answer mine-field safely.

Managing Transitions
How to get from A to B, one idea to the next, in a way that makes sense to your audience. A fun game to play encouraging linking logically and creatively.

Happiness Is ...
... often much closer and more simple than we realize.

I am always looking for ways to improve the site. If you see any errors or would like to contribute in any way, please accept this invitation to contact me through my About Me page.

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy this month's Speaking-Out-Loud!

Happy speaking, and may your words do much more than pass sentence,

Susan

Go to Top

The Penalties of Perfection

There's aspiring to be the best you can be and then there's perfection paralysis. They're close cousins - separated by a very thin line. Step over it and you'll find yourself trapped, stuck in ready-set ... wait!

I need to rehearse just once more.
I need to check that this top looks OK.
I need to revise the order of the slides.

Ready-set-whoa is a long way from ready-set-go and keeps getting longer each time we stop to fix this, that, and yet another.

Desiring to be perfect is fine but not if it becomes a straight-jacket, stopping us from actually doing what we intend to. Then that quest for perfection is actually a mask for something else with another name. It's called avoidance and its root is fear.

This slant on perfection is one I am on nodding terms with. That's a positive change because once upon a time we were very close. I wore the jacket, squirmed inside its restrictions, but finally learned to see and call it for it was.

There are endless perfection paralysis variations but these were common for me:

• Reviewing notes for the umpteenth time in one day
• Replacing that sentence for this, with no discernible gain
• Saying key words one way, then that way

All of them appeared as a quest for best but they originated from anxiety about being good enough.

Am I good enough to stand in front of you?
Am I good enough to claim your attention?
Am I good enough, full stop.

There are two things I discovered about the 'good enough' question.

One was that it can never be answered by anybody else other than yourself. No matter how many times other people give you the big two thumbs up tick of approval, if you don't give it to yourself the doubt remains.

The second was that people don't want you to be perfect. They want you to be you; real, authentic. Yes, they want you to have genuinely prepared to the best of your ability but more? No.

Too good to be true is just that. It's well oiled. It's slick, even robotic. The human qualities have been air brushed out. What's left is a mechanical performance with no room for genuine connection or spontaneity. An audience on the receiving end of that feel 'done to'. They are witnesses rather than participants and they'll feel your desire for perfection as a wall - a deliberate separation. They may even start looking for the cracks.

If you're investing too much time on a perfection quest, you'll know it. Ask yourself why and listen for and to, the answer.

Getting it right all of the time is impossible. We are human. We make mistakes. Ultimately what's important is not that we make them, but what and how we learn from them.

All you can truly ask of yourself is to be the best you can be. Anything else is futile.

Here's three quotations as reminders. Print, then pin where you'll see them.

A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one could find fault.
- John Henry Newman

Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing.
- Harriet Braiker

Done is better than perfect.
- Mr Anonymous

Go to Top

Dealing with Questions

You're at the end of your formal presentation and now it's time to call for questions.

This can be the make or break segment!

You will have witnessed situations go sideways as the speaker struggles to control and contain questioners.

You will have also witnessed questions answered fittingly.

To make sure your Question & Answer (Q & A) session goes well, here's a few handy tips; the sort I wished I had years ago:

1. Prepare ahead - what sort of questions might you get? Have answers for these ready.
2. Announce that there will be time for Q & A after your presentation at the beginning.
   This usually stops unwanted questions in the middle of speech.
3. Specify the time allocation e.g 15 minutes - particularly if you are running to an agenda which includes other presentations after yours.
4. If your presentation is lengthy and the content complex, hand out slips of paper for people to note their questions down as they occur as they may forget important elements if they have to wait too long before they can ask them.
5. If appropriate, ask each questioner to stand, say their name and place of work (club or interest group they represent), before they ask their question. That almost always guarantees that you only get serious questions and that the audience hears the question.
6. Listen to the question, all the way through. Resist the urge to go straight into an answer before hearing all of it.
7. If you don't understand the question, ask for clarification.
8. Thank the asker for their question and repeat it.
   This does three things - allows the audience to hear it clearly, gives you a little space to start getting your answer together and gives the asker a chance to correct you if you have misinterpreted what was asked.
9. Pause before beginning your answer. Give yourself time to understand what is being asked and to structure how you will answer.
10. Look and listen carefully.
    Some questions are intended to be tricky and are traps for the unwary. These could be, depending on the context, loaded or leading questions for example: loaded asked by a rival candidate at a rally - Have you stopped peddling political propaganda?
    Or leading asked by an employee at a company change-of-direction meeting - How soon can we expect layoffs?
    Both carry implications. Deflect them by asking the speaker to re-frame their question. If they can't or won't, pass on to another question.
11. If a question is genuine and you don't have the answer, say so adding, that you will get back to them. Make sure you get their name and contact details to do so.
12. If the question is off topic, say so eg. "I'm not sure there's a connection" or "That's another issue and outside the scope of this discussion."
13. Once you have answered a question, check in with the person who asked it to get agreement before moving on to the next question eg. " Have we covered what you wanted to know?" Get a yes, move on. Get a no, if it's important to the audience as a whole ask for clarification and rephrase your answer. If it's not important to the audience suggest you continue the conversation later.
14. If you have one person dominating the discussion thank them for their contribution and ask if anyone else would like to speak.
15. If a question has already been covered, say so. Don't waste the audience's time recapping.
16. And lastly, keep an eye on the clock. When you've only got time for one more quick question, say so. When the time is up, close the session off. Thank the contributors and conclude.

Go to Top

Managing Transitions

How do you get from one idea to your next?

The ideal is that it is accomplished smoothly, in an easily followed sequence, logically connecting the threads in your audience's mind so that they arrive at the same place, at the same time, as yourself. Without your bridge to guide them they may end up confused and lost, wondering what you are talking about.

To help practice transitions, (as well as story telling or impromptu speeches), here's a handy game to adapt for your public speaking group or class. You can even play it by yourself. I call it Connect the Dots.

The principle behind it is simple. When given two seemingly disparate ideas/topics, how do you create transitions to connect them convincingly?

To play you'll need two sets of topics, enough for every person in your group to take one from each. They could be place names, famous people, activities, colors, emotions, animals, objects ...

Print your topics out on slips of paper and place them face down in two piles.

Invite a speaker to take one from each pile. Whatever they pick up they need to connect in a short speech or story. It needn't be true, it could be a fantastic flight of imagination, but the topics themselves need to be logically connected.

For example, I've picked up Queen Elizabeth and bike.

My speech might be:

When you think of Queen Elizabeth, what do you see in your mind? Are there images of an older woman wearing a diamond studded tiara staring somewhat grimly into the camera? You'll see a diagonal sash across her chest proclaiming dominion over the commonwealth realms. These include countries as diverse as Canada and Barbados - 32 of them in all. That's serious leadership - around 128 million people, including Prince Phillip her husband, their four adult children, assorted wives and grandchildren.

Perhaps it was a glimpse into unfettered being that convinced her to take up sky-diving with James Bond for opening of the Olympics. Even her corgis panted and pattered their support. 86 years old and still starring in her own right royal performance. She showed us it's never too late to 'get on yer bike' in whatever form it takes. God save the Queen!

When the speaker is finished put their topics to one side to ensure the new speaker gets fresh ones.

PS. This game is in that E-book (Public Speaking Games - from fear to fun in 28 ways) I've been talking about it for at least the last 2 newsletters.
Nearly there now. Thanks to those of you who've given me reviews as well as suggestions to make even better. If you want to find out more, email me through the form on my About Me page.

Click the link if you'd like a little more on managing transitions in speeches. Read Step Four: Linking or Transitions. You'll find explanations with two examples.

Go to Top

Happiness Is ...

• pink magnolia blooms on bare branches against a crisp blue sky
• the crinkle lines around my son's eyes when he smiles
• the hush-hush lap of waves rattling stones on the beach

We watched a wonderful documentary movie called Happy the other night. Despite having no direct link to public speaking, it was so thought-provokingly good I want to share it with you.

Director Roko Belic and friends set out on a quest to explore the secret of happiness; a journey taking them all over the world. The result is an enlightening evocation, a call endorsed by evidence from neuro-scientists, to recognize and honor what makes us genuinely happy.

The film has received a slew of official awards and a whole lot more from folk like me. Their social media, FB 'likes' and so on, run to 1000's. I can see why. Watching that movie was time well spent, an experience worth spreading. I hope you think so too.

Go to Top

To keep up with what's new on the write-out-loud.com go to our What's New Page, Blogging Aloud. There you can subscribe to the site and add it to your RSS feed, Google, Yahoo, MSN, Newsgator or Bloglines site.
These days you can join us on Facebook too!

Thank you for reading the August Issue of Speaking-Out-Loud. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please feel free to contact me with any questions through the form at the foot of the Speaking Out Loud Page. I love hearing from my readers!

If you liked this issue of Speaking-Out-Loud, please feel free to send it on to any friends or family. The site url to forward so they can subscribe is Speaking-Out-Loud.

Until next time,
Happy speaking,

Susan

Go to Top