February 28, 2010
Welcome to the February Issue of Speaking-Out-Loud write-out-loud.com's monthly E-zine to help you effectively 'talk your walk'.
If this E-zine speaks to you, then quite likely it will talk sense to your friends, family or work mates too. Please pass it along.
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Happy speaking,
Susan
In this Issue
If you don't have time to read the whole ezine, click on the topic that interests you. This month you will find:
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They Said It Quotes about Public Speaking
Susan's Spiel
What's Your Body Saying About You?
This month's Article focusses on your body. What does it reveal about you?
Body language is the name for the non-verbal communication we have with everyone we encounter. Our 'readings' of their physical mannerisms form the basis of our initial impressions and judgements.
Just as we see so are we seen. Are you aware and in control of what your body tells people?
'Brevity is the soul of wit' said Shakespeare's long-winded character Polonius and that's the subject of this month's They Said It. Here's six of the best pithy witticisms about public speaking. I enjoyed choosing them and hope you enjoy reading them.
And lastly there's Dress Sense for Speakers One of the common assumptions we can make is in thinking that what feels right for us in terms of clothing choices will be appropriate for whatever function we attend. It can take an embarrassing gaffe to teach us otherwise. So what is good dress sense for speakers? Find out here.
I am always looking for ways to improve the site. If you see any errors or would like to contribute in any way, please accept this invitation to contact me through my About Me page.
Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoy this month's Speaking-Out-Loud!
Happy speaking,
PS. Here's one more quote that I couldn't resist handing on - 'Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.'
- Rudyard Kipling
Susan
Article
What's your Body Saying About You?
When I was in highschool we were regularly herded into the assembly hall for motivating talks given by our Principal.
He was a well-meaning gentle man with a soft British accent and a keen interest in helping young people find their feet - setting them to walk the right path on the sunny side of life.
All well and good, except that I never heard a word he said.
What hooked my attention, totally eclipsing his words, were his hands. They were elegant, long and white and clasped the bottom of his tie. As he spoke those ten fingers rolled the tie up his chest and then having reached the top shirt button, down again. The journey was repeated over and over without pause until his speech ended approximately ten tie rolls later. (Yes, I counted them.) The point of the story - actions speak louder than words. Those hands stole the show everytime and he was oblivious.
When you stand to talk in front of an audience, what does your body say?
Does it support your speech or detract from it?
Do you make it hard for people to listen or accept what you're saying with your mouth because your body language is contradictrary.
Non-verbal communication or body language is universally read ahead of any listening we might do. As soon as we see anyone we are busy processing, interpreting their non-verbal cues.
This person is confident because they stand tall and look me in the eye.
This person is anxious because they wring or clasp their hands.
That one is aggressive because of the jut of the chin and thrust of the chest.
This one is lying. His words say he is comfortable with the situation but his breathing is 'uptight' and his shoulders are drooped.
Obviously there are cultural differences. What shows respect in one culture may be interpreted as sly or untrustworthy in another. Eye contact is a good example. If you're English or have an English cultural heritage direct eye contact is interpreted as a sign of honesty or integrity of purpose and character. To not look someone in the eye when you're talking to them, may be seen as a sign of disrespect, an indication that your words are false or that you have low self-esteem. Whereas if you have a Polynesian cultural heritage, not looking someone directly in the eye, particularly an older person than yourself, is a sign of respect. You do not presume an immediacy of eye-to-eye contact.
Despite cultural variations and the dangers of snap judgements, (Are those folded arms telling me this person is closed to new ideas or could it be that they are cold and hugging themselves in an effort to keep warm?), becoming conscious of the messages our body language is sending is important.
Learning how to complement your words with congruent or supportive body language will help not only your public speaking but your day-to-day communication too.
Here are 3 steps to improve the language your body talks.
- Find out what you 'say' habitually.
Are you are a hair twiddler? Do you clasp and unclasp your hands? Do you stand on one foot?
These are all things you can find out with the help of a video camera. Get a clip of yourself speaking and see what you do in formal and informal situations. If you haven't got a camera, then ask some trusted friends to tell you what they see and how they interpret it. - Watch good speakers. Look for the ways they enhance the message of their words with appropriate body language.
Here's a great place to start. American Rhetoric has a speech bank and many famous speeches are freely available on video. - Read my page on body language. It covers the basics and will begin the process of helping you gain control over those unhelpful gestures that can derail your speech.
They Said It
Quotes about Public Speaking
I love pithy language that combines wit and wisdom with its brevity. Here is half a dozen examples that make me smile while teaching a lesson. I hope you enjoy them too.
Be sincere; be brief; be seated.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
What this country needs is more free speech worth listening to.
- Hansell Duckett
It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
- Mark Twain
Political speeches are like steer horns. A point here, a point there, and a lot of bull in between.
- Alfred E. Neuman
Make sure you have finished speaking before your audience has finished listening.
— Dorothy Sarnoff
The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
— George Jessel
Dress Sense for Speakers
Making sure you're heard over your shirt!
Or what to wear when you're delivering a speech or presentation.
The guidelines are simple. Your task is to give a speech that is the focus of the your audience's attention and that means choosing clothes that do not detract from what you are saying.
Depending on the occasion, your speech purpose and audience, the lime green shirt with orange parrots on it you bought on holiday might not be the best choice.
So what are good choices?
Rule One - Be guided by the occasion.
Is it formal?
Is it informal?
Who is the audience?
What type of clothes would the audience EXPECT to see you wearing? Ask ahead of time if you don't know. That question may save you the embarrassment of being obvious because your clothes are out of keeping with the event.
Rule Two - Go for comfort.
Make your choices clothes that fit well allowing you to breathe and move easily.
Tight waist bands or collars can uneccessarily heighten nervous tension while a tight jacket might restrict arm movements.
Think your selection through. Try the clothes on you intend to wear and give yourself a rehearsal to see if they're suitable and while you're doing that you can apply Rule Three and Four.
The bottom line is you don't want to be fussing about any aspect of your clothing at the same time as you're giving your speech.
Rule Three - Make sure what you've chosen is clean - ahead of time. It's horrid to discover the shirt you intended to wear has a splodge of sauce down the front half an hour before you're due on stage!
Rule Four - Make sure your clothes are tidy. Check for missing buttons, dangling threads or dodgy zips. Mend and iron if necessary - ahead of time.
Rule Five - For women - consider carefully before wearing something that may draw attention away from your speech like for instance a very short skirt, a plunging neckline or a pair of stiletto heels. Likewise think through your jewelry - an armful of bracelets that rattle with
your every movement will compete with your voice.
Rule Six - If you're unsure about the clothing you've selected ask someone whose judgement you trust for their advice. Try ALL of the clothes on for them so that they can see the whole picture from head to heel.
Rule Seven - Make sure your face is visible. People want to see you. Minimise anything that restricts that for instance hair over your eyes or a hat. Change the hairstyle, take the hat off. Do what is needed or appropriate in the circumstances to be seen.
Dressing with care is part of good speech planning. Like it or not you will be judged not only by what people hear but what they see as well.
Click for more about preparing yourself for public speaking.
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Thank you for reading the February Issue of Speaking-Out-Loud. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please feel free to contact me with any questions through the form at the foot of the Speaking Out Loud Page. I love hearing from my readers!
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Until next time,
Happy speaking,
Susan