Welcome to the June Issue of Speaking-Out-Loud write-out-loud.com's monthly E-zine filled with information to help you 'talk your walk' more effectively.

If you like this E-zine and find it speaks to you, then quite likely it will talk sense to your friends, family or work mates too. Please pass it along.

You might even suggest that they sign up! The page to send them to is here Speaking-Out-Loud

Remember, if you have any questions you're most welcome to ask them through my contact form. I enjoy hearing from my readers and will respond as soon as I am able.

Happy speaking,

Susan

In this Issue

If you don't have time to read the whole ezine, click on the topic that interests you. This month you will find:

• Susan's Spiel

• Article Good Fear, Bad Fear

• They Said It

• How to Stun Your Audience

• To Join or Not To Join

• What's New

Susan's Spiel

Have you ever been hit by a random F-Bomb or struck dumb by fear?
June's edition of Speaking-Out-Loud addresses that and more.

Find out about Good Fear, Bad Fear in our Article and learning to work with fear positively

Who is F-Bombing? What is frequent F-Bombing doing to our standards of spoken speech? Check They Said It

How to Stun Your Audience is a classic 'learn-from-my-mistake' moment. 'Failure is the best teacher of success' and I learned this particular lesson very well and painfully. I've written it up so that you don't have to find out the hard way!

Are you a group person? Or do you shun them?
If you want to develop confident public speaking skills fast you may have to think again.
Find out more here.To Join or Not To Join
What differences can joining a group to learn public speaking skills make?
And have you got the 14 benefits of public speaking? Read this article and follow the link to find out.

And lastly there's an offer of a unique personalised retirement speech and a reminder that you can always keep in touch through checking out What's New

I am always looking for ways to improve the site. If you see any errors or would like to contribute in any way, please accept this invitation to contact me through my About Me page.

Thanks for reading and enjoy this month's Speaking-Out-Loud!

Till our next issue,

Kind regards

Susan

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Article - Good Fear, Bad Fear

Imagine I am whispering in your ear. Very quietly I am naming your fears one by terrible one. You are afraid of spiders and erupt in a cold sweat whenever you see one. Your manager at work scares you mute. What you rehearsed in the safety of your own home, out of his orbit, shrivels in your mouth and dies unvoiced. You're haunted by sounds: the howl of tires locked and sliding, a screaming siren...

Now imagine the roll call of fears is ended and that there is a very high strong transparent wall between you and them. You can inspect them safely. As you walk down your side of the wall checking each out, ask yourself which of these are 'good' fears and which are 'bad'.
Good fears are those that can potentially serve you. They help. Bad fears are monsterous limitation magnets. They keep you stuck. To make it even trickier, sometimes good fears are disguised as bad ones and vice versa.

Now, if someone really was whispering your fears in your ear what would they be?

Here's one that comes black witch screeching on a broomstick to haunt me. Yep, I admit to jelly-legs, fluttery stomach and having to block my ears to her cackle.
What is this nag? Nothing particularly spectacular or unusual. In fact it's boringly common. Sometimes I get swamped with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.

That old black witch sidles in to whisper spells to stop me doing whatever it is I want to. You can't do this and you can't do that. You'll never succeed anyway. If I let it, very soon, that fear would have me completely immobilised - trapped in its concrete straight jacket.

Now I don't know about you, but when I start feeling stuck because I've fallen victim to my own fears, fairly soon I know I'll begin to get irritated with myself. After awhile that irritation will grow into a desire to do something about it. And that's where the notion of 'good fear' kicks in. I can use the fear generated energy positively to overcome the very thing I'm frightened of.

Here's how. The fear of feeling inadequate:

• -makes me careful. I prepare thoroughly to make sure things go to plan because I want to succeed rather leave things to chance and therefore fulfill the fear.
• -makes me considerate. Because I know this fear in myself, I can see it in others. I am more mindful of others feelings.
• -makes me determined to do better because I know allowing the fear of inadequacy to rule me will keep me from experimenting or doing anything new.
• -allows me to name the fear. Once named it becomes smaller and more manageable.

So what would be on your list?
Could it be one of the most commonly cited fears, the fear of public speaking?
Many people allow their mouths to be permanently closed on account of it.
It's apparently worse than any other thing they could summon up in their minds to be frightened of. Given that level of response what 'good' could possibly be lurking within it?

How about considering any of the following?

The possible good aspects of the fear of public speaking are that:

• you will seek sound advice to meet it
• you will prepare as thoroughly as you are able to reduce the possibility of embarrassment
• preparation will include researching your topic and your audience
• you will have anticipated any 'sticking points' by thinking ahead and will have worked out ways of dealing with them
• you will have written and rehearsed your speech and so on.

The net result is that if you heed and attend to your fear in a positive way your public speaking experience will be better than anything you imagined.

(And that's not hard if your brain was chock-full of images of humiliation and defeat!)

Brendan Francis elegantly summed up the fear conumdrum this way:

"Many of our fears are tissue paper thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them."

Fear of public speaking is just like that, tissue paper thin. Break through by identifying what is good, what is within your control. Do it.

Are you are plagued by physical manifestations of anxiety or fear that threaten to derail your plans to conquer public speaking fear?
You'll find suggestions here to quell acute anxiety effectively.

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They Said It

The F-Bomb, that word, more flexible than an Olympian gymnast because it performs as a verb, a noun, an adjective and an expletive, is being dropped more frequently than ever before. It's been heard out of the mouths of senior politicians, celebrities and broadcasters. Its taboo status as well as shock value is seriously under threat.

If the F-word becomes commonplace parlance what will replace its previously privileged position as the worst word possible to utter?

Submit your comments on our Tips and Speeches page.

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How to Stun Your Audience

Have you ever got up to speak and got it wrong? So wrong, your audience is stunned?

I have.

Those expressions on faces changing from polite interested attention to puzzled rolling eyeball disbelief are a bad memory, one I still feel embarrassed about. Unlike many bad memories, I don't want to push this one into a dark closet and slam the door. I want to keep it in the open where I can see it.

The cringing error was this. I was invited to talk to real estate agents (realtors) about writing sales copy. That was all good and fitting. I'd done the research and preparation with one exception. I had not prepared an opening line or introduction to lead into the body of the presentation.

Gradually the hall filled up and hushed. I was introduced and it was my turn. I remember looking at my notes, at the audience and then announcing that 'writing good sales copy was like writing poetry because they both used figurative language.' Silence. Blank stares. The rest, as they say, was history.

It isn't perversity that keeps this memory fresh. It's the lesson I learnt - know your audience.

What did a bunch of realtors want with poetry? Not a lot. Nothing. They'd been told they were coming to a session on writing ad copy.
While the comparison was apt it was totally inappropriate. I immediately lost credibility and spent the rest of the time scrabbling to make up for the gaffe.

• What unites or brings them together. Are they members of a club? All male? All female? A similar age? Do they share similar interests?
• What are they expecting from my presentation or speech?

I also practice or rehearse those opening lines!

Ofcourse, I realise most of you are too sensible to need those reminders but just in case...You can learn more about what I learnt by stunning my audience. You'll find it here in How to write a speech.

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To Join or Not To Join

Some people are compulsive 'joiners'. Calls to save this, rescue that, or learn a new skill have them scrambling for their diary looking for spare hours to fit something more in. Others are more selective. They'll choose one or two interest groups and then there's those who join nothing. They are content to get all the information they want on a topic from their own independent research.

There isn't anything right or wrong about those approaches to learning. The BUT is that in some areas joining a specifc purpose group is more effective than trying to go it alone. Public speaking is one of those.

If you've decided that you want the benefits that developing the confidence to speak out publicly delivers you'll get there faster amongst a group of like-minded people.
Sure, you can read books, search the net and find sites like mine, watch videos and make speeches alone in your room but that will never replace the real and direct feedback you get from a group of like-minded people.

Developing speaking skills and confidence is achieved by regular practice - doing it. When that is coupled with expert guidance, feedback and the example set by others more advanced than yourself, then learning is accelerated.
If you are serious, find a group that fits your needs and join it.

One of the most well known of all public speaking training groups is Toastmasters and with good reason.
250,000 world wide members in 12,000 clubs spread through 106 countries is a testimonial you can't ignore. There's bound to a group near you. Check it out.
You'll find a refreshing mix of ages, occupations and expertise levels. I know because I belong to my local club.

You'll find other public speaking skills courses offered through schools, colleges, and community out-reach programs. They're frequently a part of any managerial or leadership training too.
Use your fingers to do the walking - look up your phone book or net directory for your area.

What's going to give you more confidence, the ability to readily assume leadership in a group or speak up for yourself?
Yes, it's public speaking!

How many of 14 benefits of public speaking have you already got?
Check the list of 14 benefits of public speaking now and see.

If you have any speech tips you would like to share please submit them through our Tips and Speeches page. They will then be published on our site.
(Come on, be the first! Be brave. The page is waiting...)

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What's New

Do you know anyone biting their fingernails over a retirement speech?

I've had so many enquiries it prompted me to work with a friend to produce a retirement speech template with a BIG difference.
Ours is automated. Respond to the onscreen prompts, answer a question or two, make a choice of quotes, then push a button and there's your unique, personalised speech!
We're trialling the process and have 50 retirement speeches to give away. Send all would be receivers to the form on my About Me Page. All they need do is write 'free retirement speech' in the form, add their contact details and I'll send them the url to our retirement speech generator.

To keep up with what's new on the write-out-loud.com go to our What's New Page, Blogging Aloud. There you can subscribe to the site and add it to your RSS feed, Google, Yahoo, MSN, Newsgator or Bloglines site.

Thank you for reading the June Issue of Speaking-Out-Loud. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please feel free to contact me with any questions through the form on my About Me Page.

If you enjoyed this issue of Speaking-Out-Loud, please feel free to send it on to any friends or family. The site url to forward so they can subscribe is Speaking-Out-Loud.

Happy speaking,

Susan

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