Eulogy for My Son

by Earl Timmons
(Delaware)

Andrew Ross Timmons (1989 -2012)

Andrew Ross Timmons (1989 -2012)

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

This is a lesson learned from my son Andrew. Not only did he dance in the rain, he wanted to dance in the rain. Andrew had an exorbitant number of storms during his short life so he knew from experience that another storm was coming on the heels of the one that just passed. If he hadn’t learned to dance; he may have remained dry, but unfulfilled. He was fulfilled.

His brother Max relayed to me just this week that Andrew easily lived two lives in just 23 years. I agree. And more importantly, he enjoyed them both! He had been given the gift to make the most of every day. We have all learned from him.

My son lived his life on his terms. He listened, but did not take advice. He did not conform to social “norms.” But he was not a rebel. He was not rebelling against anything or anyone. He was a free-spirit who lived in the present, and again, on his terms. He was a dreamer. He was a leader. He had followers. He could enter a room and brighten it with his smile, his attitude, or just his presence. He had "it."

I’ve learned over the past week just how strong he was. I’ve learned from him, his brothers, his cousins, and his friends and acquaintances. He made friends so easily and was true to each and every one of them. He supported them, guided them and made them happy. He made me happy.

I stand here today with a broken heart. The loss of a child is something I could have never prepared for. Even during the past week, under insurmountable odds, I refused to prepare myself. I wasn’t ready. I'm still not ready. He had so many dreams and so many plans for the future. He would have made these dreams come true.

He was prepared to fight his disease, but never had a chance to lace up the gloves.* He did not die on his terms. He did not want to leave us. He loved us. He will continue to love us. My son, Andrew Ross Timmons, died a man. He died with the dignity and the respect he deserved. He achieved his goal of making us proud. He achieved his goal of being proud of himself. Our lives will never be the same. He made sure of that.

Andrew, I love you with all my heart; I am profoundly proud of you; you have taught me. I look forward to seeing you again when the time comes. I will continue to be the best dad I can be to your brothers, as you expect. I will continue to seek peace, as you wished. I will not let you down. It’s my turn to make you proud.

Rest in peace; and never, never stop dancing in the rain.

It's all good my son.

*Andrew passed away suddenly from acute leukemia on February 17, 2012

Comments for Eulogy for My Son

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Best friend
by: Anonymous

Miss ya buddy. Hope your mom, brother and everyone else is doing great. Closing in on 7 years now and like they said you lived hard enough to have lived 2 life times. I should know. We grew up and hung out enough since middle school listening to CKY and watching you fall off a skateboard here and there. I was a bit upset with how I found out about you passing but it's all good. How could I be upset when your family had to deal with much more. Again miss you and hope the family is well.

And my son Andrew
by: Alan

Andrew I remember your perseverance and simple love for humankind, I will always remember and be sure from the signs of your transition into Spirit form. This gives me Comfort always that there has to be something that metamorphoses us to another form that I can understand. Love you Andrew and All Sons that are named Andrew.

Kind words of encouragement
by: Anonymous

I lost my 16 year old son in the most gruesome and harrowing way possible.... a stab wound through the heart. Thank you for the invaluable words on your website.

Oh- I wish you love, an abundance of it to wrap you round and hold you. That is so hard.
Susan

Breathtaking
by: T Carter

Oh Mr. Timmons- what beautiful words.

I sit here feeling even more broken trying to pull words from my soul and feeling shame having to look up how to write my son's eulogy. I am so sorry for the loss of your amazing son. This is definitely the most heartbreaking thing to do. As I read your words, so many of the same words are popping into my head of the conversations I have had with family and friends of my own amazing son the past few days.

Thank you for sharing for many of us who are having to struggle with this unthinkable task. God Bless.

The holes in our hearts
by: Tonja Green

I just want to thank everyone who has shared their very meaningful, heartfelt and eloquent words.

I am currently preparing what I am going to say at my best friend's son's memorial service. I have watched my friend grieving in such pain and loss this past week. It is absolutely heart wrenching.

I have lost too many loved ones to death, and, I am too familiar with the hole that a loved one's passing leaves in our hearts. Nonetheless, I have been at a loss for words as to what to say that will comfort her.

The words I have read here from everyone who has shared have definitely helped.

On January 12th, 2018, we got news that my beautiful 22 year old niece had been stabbed to death by a man she had rented a room from and only knew for a total of 11 days.

I've lost a husband, my mom, my dad, grandparents, friends, 2 boyfriends, and, my son in law.

My niece's death was especially hard. I don't know if was the absolute unexpectedness of it, or, the violent nature, or, because she was so young. I just know it has been a difficult journey moving through the grief of losing her.

Someone above said how it is something we are never prepared for, never ready for and they were right. All of these deaths have one thing in common. They all have left holes in the hearts of the people who love them. "To live in hearts we leave behind, is not to die" - Thomas Campbell

My little brother died at 23 last week
by: LeighRae

My 'baby' brother died (suddenly, and unexpectedly) at the age of 23 less than a week ago. I've been trying to look for inspiration for what to say about him at his funeral.

This has helped so much, at a time that is so hard. Thank you. xx

Thank you
by: Anonymous

Our son, our only child, passed away June 30, 2017. We wanted to put a memorial in our local newspaper but were at a loss for words. Your eulogy is beautiful and I am sure your son loved it. Thank you for giving us ideas for our memorial piece.

Thank you
by: Anonymous

I'm preparing my son's eulogy and I can't concentrate or focus long enough to write his story. Your powerful words gives me an idea on what to say about my son William. He's gone too soon and it's difficult to get through this time. Thank you again and I pray for all the parents who lost their children.

Thank you
by: Anonymous

Thank you Earl for the kind words.

Sergio

A parent's worst fear...
by: Earl

Couple of thoughts in this terrible time for you...

You do NOT have to be strong at all times.
Accept help.
Let yourself feel the pain.
Cry for your loss.
Take a moment each day to remember how much you love and miss your son.

Good luck my friend.

Peace

A parent's worst fear...
by: Anonymous

...the Police knocking on your door in the middle of the night became real but still feels like a horrible nightmare.
My son Justin died in a motorcycle accident on January 14 2018.
Many tell us they cannot imagine how we feel and they are right, because if you don't live the loss a child you really don't know the feeling, the gaping hole in your heart and the heavy emptiness in your chest.
His 26th birthday is on April 7th, we decided to celebrate his arrival and departure with his family and friends.
So here I am, not knowing how or where to start. I feel I am not being genuine, disrespectful and a horrible father for looking for guidance on how to do it, but I am lost. There is so much I want to say, so much I am afraid to not say.
I lost a son, a friend, fishing and skiing buddy, a part of me.
You all know that the pain and sorrow is unbearable.
Thank you for guiding and inspiring me to honor my son on his day of celebration.

My heart goes out to you. This is so hard.
I hope you find something here you can take and use.
Much love to you and your family,
Susan

I am sorry for your loss. Thank you
by: Anonymous

I just lost my son in a motorcycle accident. For the past days I've been agonizing on what to say. So much we want to say about the people that we love so much... Thank you for your generosity - allowing people like me to borrow words from your beautiful eulogy. Much love and light.

Justin ..we love you forever
by: Anonymous

My brother lost his son this 01 Sept.17
The service will take place this coming
Friday 08 Sept 17.
He asked me to prepare a eulogy for his son
and I would like to request for a permission
to used some of the words.
Condolence to the family.

Thank you. Not alone.
by: Anonymous

Firstly, I'm deeply sorry for your loss and to all those who have lost a son.
I lost my son in a car accident 11 August 2016. The sadness we feel is overwhelming.
After having read all the comments, I feel that I am not alone in my pain.
Thank you so much for those intimate comments and a beautiful eulogy. My son would have been 34 on 2 August. A mass and a get together of family and close friends will take place that day.
I thank you kindly for allowing me and others to express our sentiments as perfectly as you have.
MEJ.

Beautiful
by: Anonymous

My son was close to death but unlike your son he got that opportunity to lace up the gloves and fight. Fight he did and survived liver cancer but came so close that I stopped by here to get help with his Eulogy. Your tribute is moving and I can see the pride bursting out of your chest, well done you, hold your head up high.
J.

Thank you
by: Earl Timmons

Thank you to all that have read and commented on my Eulogy. That was the most difficult of times.

I look forward to hearing from you on a personal level. Feel free to email me directly at earl.timmons@gmail.com

Hang in there.

Peace

Thank you for returning to comment Earl, and for your very kind offer. The eulogy you wrote for Andrew continues to touch so many people.
Kind regards,
Susan

Eulogy
by: Anonymous

Hello:
I am so sorry for your loss. We recently lost our son too. He was murdered, as he tried to protect the honor of a woman and a child.

The Eulogy for your son is so perfect, that we would like to take some of the passages. It seems as though it was written for our son as well.

Thank you for your words. They have reached out into the lives of so many families. I am certain that you were ordained to write.

Just a MOM, missing part of her heart
by: Anonymous

I just lost my son on Dec. 31,2017. My heart hurts like it has never before. Thank you for sharing. The pain is great. I am so sorry for your loss. My son was 48. God be with you and your family at this time and always.

Permission to use certain excerpts of this tribute
by: Anonymous

My son, Ian just passed away on 04/03/17 and your tribute articulates exactly what I'd like to express during his memorial service on the 11/03/17.

I have gone ahead and used some of the text to boost my own. I just wanted to let you know and to thank you for this.

With kind regards, Stella

Kyle Curtis Tribute
by: Mike Curtis

I want to plagiarize your entire eulogy. It was spot on for my son Kyle who was 23 and died of a drug overdose on 29 January. We have his celebration of life in two weeks. The words you wrote for your son apply to so many young men taken from us so prematurely. I'm going to assume, based on the past comments, that you will permit this and I want to thank you for so eloquently putting into words my same thoughts.

Thank you
by: Maryrose

I am so sorry for your loss. My son died a few days ago from a drug overdose and your eulogy was so beautiful that like many others I would like to use it during his memorial services. May your son rest in peace.

And yours too Maryrose.
Kind regards,
Susan

Pain
by: Randy

Sir,

I am feeling the pain that you endure. I will bury my son on Saturday. This is so very hard. I am searching for words, if I can find the words to speak at his funeral. I would like request that I may use some of your eulogy to your son as I prepare to write my son's. I close with offering of condolence to you and your family.

Hi Randy,
This is Susan who runs this website. Please go ahead and use the words you want. That's what the writer of this eulogy, Andrew's father, Mr Timmons, has given people permission to do.
He would be pleased that his words are of service.
Kind regards,
Susan

Borrowed words
by: Junen

Hi Sir,

I would like to ask permission from you if ! could borrowed some line from your son's eulogy.

You did not just wrote it for your son but also to us. You just described my special someone perfectly.

Your words are my source of strength to say goodbye. Your message to your son gave me courage to face the reality.

Respectfully,
Junen

Hi Junen,
It's Susan here. I run this website. In answer to your question please see the comment from Earl T just below. It's titled Share away... Mr Timmons (Andrew's father) is very happy to have his words used. Please go ahead. It is what he wanted.
Kind regards,
Susan

Thank you
by: Patricia

This is beautiful and I will be using some of it for my son Andrew in 2 days. He died last week at the age of 32. He was definitely a free spirit and everyone loved him just like your son.

Share away...
by: Earl T

To all that have commented, I say thank you.

Nearly 6 years now, and I still hold a heavy heart much of the time. There is no cure for a broken heart. No healing. But to know that someone, anyone, was inspired to use a portion of my words to help ease their pain is an honor.

No permission needed, my text is to be shared, so share away.

I ask only that you say hello as you pass by my words...

Peace

Very beautiful words that moved me.
by: Anonymous

Mr.Timmons those were beautiful words that moved me out of my seat. I can see the love you had for your son and joy he meant to you. With respect for you and your loss, I'd like to use a few of your words to lead me through my own words. I just tragically lost my son and words are so hard to speak, let along to find. There was a lot of strength and power in the words you constructed. God bless and I to look to seal an open heart. Thank you. M. Grace.

Ref: Alex Kelham 29yrs
by: Alison Ames

Dear Earl,
To write a tribute about my son for his funeral on 11th November 2016,is like an impossible task. My heart is broken and my soul kneels in the dust, trying to sum him up... "He was my life".

My deepest condolences, even now at your loss. Oh, to have even known your son would be an honour no doubt. Your words have truly helped me and I thank you for finding the strength to do so.

Yours sincerely,
Alison Ames

Eulogy
by: Andy

Your words are beautiful, and a lot of it applies to my Son, Stuart, who passed away back in March, aged 34.

I too would like to use some of these words, as they so describe my son's short life.

Our respective sons have passed, but memories will live on, Thank you.

Loss of My Beloved Son
by: Andrea

So sorry for the loss of your beloved son. Your eulogy was so beautiful. My son passed away last 1 year ago and we are now honoring his memory next month. I hope that you don't mind that I will use a portion of your eulogy. My own words cannot express the enormous depth of sadness I am still enduring. The hole in my heart hurts terribly.
Thank you and my best wishes to you and your family. Andrea

A Tribute
by: Anonymous

What a beautiful tribute to your dear son. His presence will always be with you. I too lost a son. His tired heart stopped beating. He was 54.

Thanks from the UK
by: Steve Rooney

Hi
Went ahead and used part of the text in a service for my son in Bristol, England. The service was held in a church dating back to 1248 which was beautiful accompanied by a wonderful Canadian singer. The words from the text made the whole thing even more wonderful and I too pride in passing on the fact that someone who lives thousands of miles away wrote this and told them your and your son's story Earl. Thank you everyone.

*Steve, Susan here once more. Thank you for reporting back. Wishing you strength and love.

Thank you
by: Anonymous

Thank you so much x

Thank you
by: Steve Rooney

Absolutely lovely. Lost my 22 year old in an accident a couple of weeks ago. We are heartbroken. With your permission I would like to use part of your text. It is so apt, something that can only be understood by those in a similar position. Bless you.

*Steve, Susan here. I'm sure Earl would be more than happy for you to take what you want from his text.

Peace
by: Simon Thompson

Thank you. I lost my son, also called Andrew, to a disease too. He was 26 yrs old. I am going to use your speech, with your blessing. Sounds like they were alike.
Cheers.

My best friend passed from cancer and it still kills me inside
by: Anastasia

My condolences to you and the family. I was actually surprised to see a really good eulogy made from a father's point of view. Thank you for posting this. This has inspired me and many others who have come across it. I lost my best friend from cancer two years ago when I was only 14. I'm now 16 and still think of her everyday. I wish she could see how well I'm doing today but I know she is resting now from all the pain she had to go through. She made us proud and she will never be forgotten.

R.I.P

I am sorry for your loss
by: Carlos

Your love for your son is undeniably eternal. I am a 16 yrs old kid from the Philippines who was inspired not only by your son but also by you, yourself. My teacher showed this eulogy to our class in order for us to give importance to the people who surround us, and also to give a perfect example of how a parent shows their genuine love for their sons and daughters.

I immediately searched for this after I came home from school and now I am here to thank you and your son for inspiring me to be like your son, and maybe if I get to have a child one day I will be like you. Again thank you, and I would like to say that he is guiding you from up there.

Thank you
by: Anonymous

Your strong spirit shows though. I hope I can find the same strength.

My son's poem which I read at his funeral. He also died from AML.
by: Angela

To Garry with love

I’m trying to find the right words to say,
A tribute to my son Garry, on his funeral day.
Even though each word is splashed with tears,
Because Garry leaving us, was all our worst fears.

From the day you were born, my beautiful son,
I held you close until your crying was done.
You grew up so happily, always a smile.
It’s easier to think you’ve only gone for a while.

As the eldest son you‘d put your arm around your brother,
With a heart full of love for your son, wife, father and mother.
It’s hard to accept that you are no longer here
Garry, my beautiful boy, you were amazing it’s clear.

You are locked in my heart and I am saving the key,
To one day open it, when my soul is set free.
The pain is hard to bear now you’ve gone away,
I will love you forever.....what else can I say...

Bless you Garry. Rest in peace, my boy.

Eulogy
by: Aimee

What a wonderful eulogy - I am so sorry for your loss!

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