By: Susan Dugdale | Last modified: 16-10-2020 | First published: 17-08-2017 |
If you've clicked through to this page, it's likely you're:
Your questions are probably similar to these:
Before I answer them, in the interests of transparency, I need to say the following information about online counseling: how it works, getting started and the costs involved is provided by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is an internet based company whose sole business is matching those who want counseling with those who provide it.
When a person signs up for counseling with BetterHelp from write-out-loud.com I receive a commission for providing the link enabling the connection. I would also like you to know I only recommend a service after I have researched it thoroughly to ensure it delivers what it says it does.
(Visit TrustPilot to read independent BetterHelp customer reviews.)
And now, let's get onto getting your questions answered.
I understand what grief can do. Too many people in my immediate family died unexpectedly and, far too young: my parents, a brother and a sister.
I also know there may come a time when you want to say: OK, alright. I need help. I want to stop feeling like I do.
Maybe that's where you are now.
Perhaps you haven't been sleeping, or eating.
Maybe you've been unable get dressed to go out.
Or you're deliberately avoiding family and friends, drinking too much alcohol and crying all the time.
And maybe that's making you feel frightened, angry and crazy.
Or perhaps you're running on empty: feeling nothing.
There is no official recipe stipulating the exact ingredients for grief.
And just like we don't fully understand what is involved until we experience it, neither do we know how long it takes, before we can say we're through the most intense period of it.
That's why talking with someone who fully understands, and is professionally trained can be very useful and reassuring.
How we experience grief is unique.
Today there might be rocks where your heart used to be. Tears may spring from nowhere, and the thoughts in your brain might be stuck on a loop spinning around, and around, and around ...
Tomorrow it could be different.
Despite what well-meaning friends or family might tell you there are no "right" ways to grieve. And neither are there "right" stages which everyone must pass through in a "right" sequence.
We are unique therefore our experience of grief is unique. We may not progress tidily from this stage to that and, collect our lives back ready to be fully lived once we go through the last one.
Grieving is a zig, zag, slip, sliding journey.
Some days it's hard to get out of bed, have a shower, get dressed, brush you hair, to eat, answer your phone, or, go to work.
It can be tough finding a reason, or the energy, to do things once regarded as so ordinary you did them without thinking.
Is this where you are? Tired, and experiencing life as a blur, sucked of color and meaning?
We both know, it will never be the same again. That's true. The person you loved, who meant so much to you, is gone. Hard though it is, that's reality.
However there is help available and you could use it to begin finding your new 'normal'. You could talk your situation through with a professional.
When you connect with a BetterHelp.com counselor you:
For more information, please visit the FAQ page.
You could get started today for any of these reasons.
There is no shame in talking to a trained counselor.
After all, you visit a medical doctor when you are physically unwell. When your car needs a tune up you take it to the garage. When your plumbing fails you call in the plumber.
In talking to a professional therapist you are taking the most appropriate action toward finding a way forward.*
Are you ready to begin?
Please seek immediate help from a doctor or medical practitioner if you are experiencing:
Do not wait! BetterHelp.com is not an emergency care service which is what you need right now. Please look after yourself. Make the call!
However if you are not in crisis, and ready to move on, your next step toward living fully once more, could be to get started.