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What is a living eulogy?
 A living eulogy marks our appreciation or gratitude for someone who has powerfully and positively contributed to the quality of our lives. As the name implies it's a tribute speech celebrating a living person.
The decision to give one usually arises from one of these three circumstances:
- the person you want to honor is nearing the end of their life and you want them to know how much they've meant to you before they pass away
- your feelings of gratitude and love are so great you want to express them in a special speech
- you have been asked to write your own eulogy. This exercise is sometimes set as a personal development tool to help us focus on the positive qualities we want to be remembered for. Often it is accompanied by the suggestion to imagine ourselves at our own funeral listening to the eulogies.
What would people say?
What would be the dominant themes?
This type of living eulogy offers the opportunity to reflect on, challenge and change the restrictive or negative aspects of our characters and lives. If this is your task take the suggestions below and apply them to yourself.
A living eulogy can include many elements for example a poem, song or quotations. They can be informal or formal, brief and spontaneous or something longer and prepared.
Why give living eulogies?
How many times have you regreted NOT telling or showing a person how much they meant to you?
Perhaps you felt too shy and awkward. Perhaps the moment never naturally arose or maybe you felt the person you wanted to shareyour feelings with wasn't open to receiving them. And then they're gone, sometimes out of your life forever. Now instead of telling them directly you tell the people who have gathered at their funeral.
A Living Eulogy as part of a pre-funeral service
Sometimes living eulogies are given to those who are terminally ill. It lets them know just how much they were loved and admired before they die.
This can be a wonderful, uplifting celebration for everybody BUT it needs full and sensitive discussion beforehand with everyone concerned which includes the person you're giving the tribute to.
If you'd like advice visit 'The Light Beyond', Lucie Storr's website on grief, dying and death related matters.
There is an excellent forum and expert guidance available. Ask your questions there. |
How to give a living eulogy
- Decide on an appropriate form after you have considered who you are giving it to. What will they appreciate? Now balance that decision against what you are able to give. For example, will you sing a song, read a poem, or give a speech? Perhaps you can combine all of these elements?
- Decide whether the occasion is public or private. Do you want to share your praise in front of others? If so will it form part of another celebration like a birthdayor an anniversary?
What to include in your living eulogy
Include anything and everything that sincerely and honestly reflects the love, admiration, appreciation and gratitude you hold for the person you want to honor.
A useful guideline is that whatever you say or do genuinely comes from your heart.
If you are giving the speech as part of public ceremony (birthday party, anniversary celebration or something similar) the step by step guidelines on my how to write a eulogy page will help.
Use them to ensure you get all aspects of your speech: content, length of speech and presentation, fully prepared.
In summary:-
Your living eulogies are an acknowledgement and recognition of the gifts received from those we love and admire.
Let's not wait until they're gone from our lives to show our gratitude.
Now, who is on my list for today?
There's my husband...
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