Birthday Speeches -
Give me an example to read before I write my own

Birthday speeches!
Do you find them a joy to receive but difficult to write?

Often the problem is not that you don't want to publically acknowledge the person or their occasion. It's more a case of agony caused through not knowing where to start.

Perhaps you've read my birthday speech tips page and are caught up wondering what to put in, what to leave out, how long will the speech take to say when it's finished, and what joke or quotation to use, if any?

Speech for Alan West's 50th birthday

- written and delivered at a party for friends and family by his close friend Mark.

'Good evening all. It's great to have you here.

Most of you know my feeling on birthdays. Generally I say, what's the big deal? By the time you've had over thirty, there should be a cease and desist order against them.

They're not unusual. Everybody has them and at the same rate as everybody else - one a year. They happen whether you want them to or not. Believe me, I know. I've had quite a few and looking around this room I can see it's the same for others as well.

So why are we here?

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It's not to celebrate the inevitible passage of time but something more. Everyone has birthdays but not everyone is my friend, Alan West.

Alan, you are unique. And today I'm gladly putting aside my grumbles about birthday speeches, balloons, presents and silly hats, to honor you.

Alan, you've reached the 50 milestone. 50 birthdays, that's a whole lot of living. Enough to establish the character of a man, to know who he is. And I've known you through about 30 of them.

So what I want to know is, when are you going to give up the idea that you're a surfer? We all know your geriatric surfboard has gone to the beach with you every summer for the last 15 years and never once got wet. Millie says you're waiting for the big one. I say it happened in 1975 but you were too busy zinc coating your nose to notice. Rumor has it that your surfboard has been bolted to the top of whatever your current wagon is ever since.

Likewise that growing collection of running shoes. He says he can't seem to get a good fit these days. I say his days of being good and fit are long since gone, up and over the hill.

And then there's the annual season tickets to 10 nights of film festival screenings. They seem like a good idea. They were a good idea in the days when the quotient of surplus energy to the number of hours in a day was higher.

Doesn't he know, he's at that age when his back is expected to go out more frequently than himself?

But seriously folks, aside from his lamentable quirks of character Alan is a friend - a real one. He's there when you need him - offering practical advice on just about everything, from how to unblock the drains to how to meet personal tragedy with courage. And Alan's not a mere theorist who has read the books. He walks his talk and walks it tall.

I know he's shy about having his good deeds displayed in public. A less kind person might say that's because if everybody knew just how helpful he could be, he'd be called upon all the time. And that would mean no time for polishing the surfboard or adding another pair of shoes to the collection. But I know better. He's modest. However on this occasion I'm going to ignore his finer feelings. This is a public celebration and Alan, you've been 'outed'.

I thought it would be great to list all the personal and lovable qualities we admire here. I asked around. I had a couple of offers. One from Sam who mentioned his foot size was similar to yours and that his runners were down at heel. The other was from my son who said he'd be willing to take the film passes off his hands.

Neither was the type of thing I had in mind. So I was forced to think for myself.

I value your opinion (when it's not on the merits of old surfboards). I value the way we can agree to disagree and still count each other as friends. I admire your humor and humility. Then there's your persistence which some might call stubborness. My list could go on and on but because I want to preserve what's left of our friendship and myself, I won't. They say, looks can't kill but the one you're giving me now seems murderous.

So before I'm forcibly shut-up, I'll do it myself.

In conclusion, please raise your glasses to Alan, to friendship and to birthdays. May you have many more.'

Now it's your turn to write a birthday speech, go back to the page on 'how to' and begin. Once you've done that, you've got the hardest part over.

P.S.
Here's a sample 40th birthday speech. This is from a mother to her daughter.

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