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Witty Birthday Quotations
This is a large eclectic collection of witty birthday quotations. Some are well known: others are not, but deserve to be!
If you have as much fun choosing what you want to put a little zest and zing into your birthday speech as I did putting the collection together, you'll find yourself laughing out loud.
And now on to the Witty Birthday Quotations...
As with my other pages of quotations, I've put the name of the author, where known, following the quote. Please acknowledge them.
It is better to wear out than to rust out.
Bishop Richard Cumberland |
Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened.
- Cora Harvey Armstrong |
To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.
Bernard Baruch |
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Jack Benny |
The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything.
Oscar Wilde |
Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
Tom Stoppard |
There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
George Santayana |
Do you have special birthday speech tips, quotations or maybe a speech of your own?Are you willing to share them? Readers are always on the look out for that extra-special suggestion that will make a birthday celebration magical. You've read my birthday speech tips. Now, let's hear it from you! There's a page waiting for your special birthday speech ideas here. And there's still more birthday quotations if you don't find what you want on this page: |
It takes a long time to grow young.
Pablo Picasso |
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
Robert Frost |
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
Anonymous |
Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you have not committed.
Anthony Powell |
The secret to eternal youth is arrested development.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth |
Youth comes but once in a lifetime.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
Youth had been a habit of hers for so long that she could not part with it.
Rudyard Kipling |
We are so fond of one another, because our ailments are the same.
Jonathon Swift |
Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.
Bob Hope |
Please don't retouch my wrinkles. It took me so long to earn them.
Anna Magnani |
One compensation of old age is that it excuses you from picnics.
William Feather |
Old age is not for sissies.
Malcolm Forbes |
If you survive long enough, you're revered-rather like an old building.
Katherine Hepburn |
For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.
John Glenn |
Money is appropriate, and one size fits all.
William Randolph Hearst on suggestions for gifts |
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Chili Davis |
They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.
Anonymous |
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier.
Dan Bennett |
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.
Truman Capote |
You've heard of the three ages of man - youth, age, and "you are looking wonderful."
Francis Cardinal Spellman |
The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
Henry L. Mencken |
Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
C.E.M. Joad |
Let us respect gray hairs, especially our own.
J. P. Sears |
The Best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
H. V. Prochnow |
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Lucille Ball |
I love everything that's old: old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wines.
Oliver Goldsmith |
You will recognize, my boy, the first sign of old age: it is when you go out into the streets of London and realize for the first time how young the policemen look.
Sir Seymour Hicks |
They tell you that you'll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don't tell you is that you won't miss it very much.
Malcolm Cowley |
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.
George Bernard Shaw |
If I'd known I was going to live this long (100 years),I'd have taken better care of myself.
Ubie Blake |
I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
Phyllis Diller |
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
Robert Frost |
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
Mark Twain |
Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.
Maurice Chevalier |
If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.
Euripides |
You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
John P. Grier |
I hope you've arrived at the bottom of my witty birthday quotations selection with a smile on your face and a collection to use in your speech.
Please remember that if you have a special birthday speech tip, quotation or speech that has made someone's day, you can share it here and make many, many more people smile!
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"Words are of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind."
Rudyard Kipling |
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