Eulogy for Mom

by Anne-Marie
(San Francisco)

A mother and child connection is so profound. How can the limitations of language ever do this archetypal relationship justice?

It feels almost impossible to put words to the love I feel for my mother, but I will try.

I have tremendous gratitude for past five years I was able to spend time with my mother since she was first diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. We were very open with one another - sharing our feelings; laughter, tears, and, some bickering here and there. The conversations and closure we were able to have were a gift. I will miss her forever.

In my mother’s life there was hardship, but also huge blessings. My mother's death, as is often the case, was similar to her life as a whole in this way. It was an invaluable experience to have, along with my family, been by my mother's side in her final days and nights, and I am amazed to recollect the bright, warm, large look in her hazel colored eyes after she was told she did not have much time left.

As my mother began to pass away I thought maybe she does not want to go. For, she was a fighter and her incredible tenacity had showed up in her strong will to live with this terrible disease these last five years. Yet in her final moments the peace and tranquility that came over my mom’s face was breathtaking. She was beautiful and glorious as an angel as she smiled and transitioned out of this world and into the next. For sure she had agreed to pass on and by the ecstatic look on her face I rest knowing mom was greeted by her loved ones who went before her.

My mother Mary was 32 when she gave birth to me. Younger than I am now. Her own mother died while she was pregnant with me, and I imagine that tragedy must have played a role in our tight bond. I always felt close to my mother. But our relationship was a paradox. On the surface the way we have lived our lives may seem contrary. However, in spite of traditional and generational differences, our core strengths and beliefs were so congruent; and it was the spirit with which my mother imparted her love that transcended all our differences.

My mother’s core motivating force was- LOVE and it was her love that has had a profound impact on the essence of who I am. My mother lives on in my heart.

She gave me the foundation on which my whole life is built. A calling to live a life of service and to help make the world a better place. This is the greatest lesson my mother taught me; how to be caring, affectionate, forgiving, and empathetic towards others, especially those in need. She exemplified service, be it to the elders she visited weekly for years in the nursing home, caring for my beloved Aunt Nonie, or her persistent efforts to meet the needs of her own children and grandchildren. I will always feel love and gratitude for the warm gifts she so beautifully embodied. My mother Mary, was a force for spreading good in the world, and her legacy - this compelling force of good continues in the many of us here, whose lives she touched.

Comments for Eulogy for Mom

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Please help....
by: Deb

That was beautiful!
Although I could only read lil bits at a time while crying so hard in between.
Susan and or anyone else in the world...I beg of u to tell me how in the world i can get up in front of everyone and say something like this without absolutely losing it?? I know that so many people do it and they get through it fine and normally i can b a pretty tough person but when it comes to my mother/bestfriend
it's a whole diff. ball game.
So I guess I'm just reaching out to u/ someone to find out how to stand up and say all the wonderful things i have to say without loosing it And making others cry also.
And also I will gladly give my speech to u Susan and everyone ....
Thank you so much for your time
Deb

Hi Deb,
Susan here, firstly you have my sympathy. I know, like you, just how much these situations/events hurt. To help I put together a page on writing and giving eulogies. It's here: eulogy help.
You'll find suggestions to help manage the process of giving the eulogy. While they won't take away pain, they will help you get through.
Have a look and see.
Much love,
Susan

Eulogy For Mom
by: Anonymous

I absolutely love how you wrote this and I believe that you were super close with your mom because of the way you wrote, and the effort you put in this eulogy. I love how you made it really nicely detailed such as descriptions of how your long loving mother fought for her life. I honestly feel so sorry for you that your mother died at that time. (I'm not saying she should have died at a different time.) I also hope the best for you because of your tragic lost. RIP

Thank you Anne-Marie
by: Susan

Your comments describing how your Mom passed are very special. The memory of that experience must be very comforting to you. Thank you very much for sharing.

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