Farewell Cupcake A eulogy to my little sister

by Sabrina Dolling
(San Mateo, Ca)

When I sat down to write this speech, there were so many beautiful things that I wanted to say about Jessica that I didn’t know where to start. None of us have had easy lives by any means, but this is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

Jessica was not only beautiful on the outside, she was a beautiful soul. She also saw the beauty in others. Jessica took her time, forming her own thoughts and opinions about the people and things around her.

For example, I love my car but when most people look at it they see an old piece of junk. Jessica could see through the beat up exterior and understood the positive energy it carries.
She loved my car so much that I promised her that when she graduated I would teach her how to drive stick, and it was hers. I knew she would appreciate it in a way no one else ever could.
People from all over the world have signed the inside of my car, Jessica chose to take up my entire steering wheel. She wrote “ Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

Although incredibly difficult, this reminds me not to feel sorrow for her death, but instead to feel grateful that her presence has blessed our lives. We are all better people today because SHE was part of it.

I am HONORED to be her big sister.

When I looked at Jessica, I saw a reflection of myself, but with her own individuality and life ahead of her. I called her my cupcake because she was so cute and sweet, and she in turn called me her sugar momma because I always spoiled her and did my best to take care of her.
Jessica always made me feel like I was the coolest older sister.
This reminds me that we need to continue to love and adore ourselves the way Jessica did.

Jessica was always bright, colorful, creative, and lived life to the fullest.
Her personality was too big for this world to contain.
I remember the very first time I held my baby sister in my arms and looked into her beautiful eyes. She was instantly the light of my life.

One of my happiest memories is of her as a little kid knocking on my bedroom door asking if we could blast my music and dance.
Whenever I was feeling down she would always find a way to make me laugh, or give me some corny inspiration like “you go girl” or “turn that frown upside down”
We’ve all experienced just how happy that girl could make us in an instant.
Someone famous once said that the good die young, because they are ready for the next level.

Often we forget that those who are the happiest in life, also hide their pain the best. As happy as she seemed, she was no exception.
When I first found out about the accident I found myself asking: “what if I’d never moved away, or what if my siblings had never seen me as such a troubled teen, maybe things would be different.”
I remind myself that she no longer has to endure the pain of this world. We all must find peace knowing that she is still a light in our hearts.

Words cannot describe how much she will be missed.
I feel like we still had so much left to teach ONE ANOTHER, and so many more inside jokes to create.
I had always thought I’d be able to see her grow into the beautiful woman that she was meant to be.

I know there is something that she found to love in every one of us.
We must remind ourselves that when we look for her, we can look to the stars at night and we can look into the eyes and hearts of everyone here and find a little piece of her.
In that sense she will live on forever.

I will leave you with this last thought.
Tell people you love them more times than you think they should hear it, especially if you think they already know.

I never got to tell Jessica just how important she was to me, although I know in my heart she felt it.
Learn to appreciate the good times, because you never know when they will be your last good memories of some one.

Thank you