Eulogy for my son: a tribute from a father

Comments from readers

Over the years Earl's eulogy for his son has been online it has attracted many comments from people grateful to have found it. His words have helped at a time when they were at their most vulnerable and bleak - struggling to find a way to talk about the loss of either, their own son, or the son of someone close to them.

Sometimes, particularly if a question was asked, I (Susan, who owns and runs this site) have, or Earl has, responded. 

Marnie says: Thank you so much. My son has not long passed from a drug overdose and my heart is broken. I am so very sad. I am writing this through my tears.

I have so many words in my head, but none seem to come out. Please may I borrow some of yours please, for they brought me comfort when I did read them. Thank you so very much xx

Susan's response to Marnie: Please borrow as many as you need. That's what they are there for. We're thankful they brought you some comfort.
With much love,
Susan

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Bob says: Andrew, I miss ya buddy. Hope your mom, brother and everyone else is doing great. Closing in on 12 years now and like they said you lived hard enough to have lived 2 life times. I should know.

We grew up and hung out enough since middle school listening to CKY and watching you fall off a skateboard here and there.

I was a bit upset with how I found out about you passing but it's all good. How could I be upset when your family had to deal with much more? Again, miss you and hope the family is well.

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Alan says: For my son Andrew. Andrew, I will always remember your perseverance and simple love for humankind and be sure of your transition into Spirit form because of the signs I saw. This always gives me comfort that there has to be something that metamorphoses us to another form that I can understand. Love you Andrew and all sons named Andrew.

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Chris says: I lost my 16 year old son in the most gruesome and harrowing way possible..., a stab wound through the heart. Thank you for the invaluable kind words of encouragement on your website.

Susan's response to Chris: Oh, I wish you love, an abundance of it to wrap you round and hold you. That is so hard.
Susan

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T Carter says: Oh Mr. Timmons - what beautiful words. I sit here feeling even more broken. I am trying to pull words from my soul and feeling shame about having to look up how to write my son's eulogy.

I am so sorry for the loss of your amazing son. This is definitely the most heartbreaking thing to have to do.

As I read your words, so many of the same words are popping into my head from the conversations I have had with family and friends about my own amazing son over the past few days.

Thank you for sharing to help the many of us who are having to struggle with this unthinkable task. God Bless.

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Tonja Green says: I just want to thank everyone who has shared their very meaningful, heartfelt and eloquent words.

I am currently preparing what I am going to say at my best friend's son's memorial service. I have watched my friend grieving in such pain and loss this past week. It is absolutely heart wrenching.

I have lost too many loved ones to death, and I am too familiar with the hole that a loved one's passing leaves in our hearts. Nonetheless, I have been at a loss as to what to say that will comfort her.

The words I have read here from everyone who has shared have definitely helped.  So too, does this quote: "To live in hearts we leave behind, is not to die" - Thomas Campbell.

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Leigh Rae says: My 'baby' brother died (suddenly, and unexpectedly) at the age of 23 less than a week ago. I've been trying to look for inspiration for what to say about him at his funeral.

This has helped so much, at a time that is so hard. Thank you. xx

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Bettye says: Our son, our only child, passed away June 30, 2017. We wanted to put a memorial in our local newspaper but were at a loss for words. Your eulogy is beautiful, and I am sure your son loved it. Thank you for giving us ideas for our memorial piece.

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Lee says: Thank you. I'm preparing my son's eulogy, and I can't concentrate or focus long enough to write his story. Your powerful words give me an idea on what to say about my son William. He's gone too soon and it's difficult to get through this time. Thank you again and I pray for all the parents who have lost their children.

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Sergio says: A parent's worst fear, the Police knocking on your door in the middle of the night became real, but it still feels like a horrible nightmare. My son Justin died in a motorcycle accident on January 14 2018.

Many tell us they cannot imagine how we feel, and they are right. Because if you don't live the loss of a child, you really don't know the feeling, the gaping hole in your heart and the heavy emptiness in your chest.

His 26th birthday is on April 7th. We have decided to celebrate his arrival and departure with his family and friends.

So here I am, not knowing how or where to start. I feel I am not being genuine, that I am a disrespectful and a horrible father for looking for guidance on how to do it, but I am lost. There is so much I want to say and so much I am afraid to not say.

I lost a son, a friend, fishing and skiing buddy, a part of me.

You all know that the pain and sorrow is unbearable.
Thank you for guiding and inspiring me to honor my son on his day of celebration.

Susan's response to Sergio: My heart goes out to you. This is so very hard. I hope you find something here you can take and use.
Much love to you and your family,
Susan

Earl's response to Sergio: Here's a couple of thoughts in this terrible time for you.
You do NOT have to be strong at all times.
Accept help.
Let yourself feel the pain.
Cry for your loss.
Take a moment each day to remember how much you love and miss your son.
Good luck my friend.
Peace.

Sergio's response to Earl: Thank you Earl for the kind words.

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Mike says: Firstly, I'm deeply sorry for your loss and for all those who have lost a son.

I lost my son in a car accident 11 August 2016. The sadness we feel is overwhelming.

After having read all the comments, I feel that I am not alone in my pain.

Thank you so much for those intimate comments and a beautiful eulogy.

My son would have been 34 on 2 August this year. A mass and a get together of family and close friends will take place that day.

I thank you kindly for allowing me and others to express our sentiments as perfectly as you have.

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John says: My son was close to death but unlike your son he got that opportunity to lace up the gloves and fight. Fight he did, and survived liver cancer but he came so close that I stopped by here to get help with his Eulogy. Your tribute is beautiful and moving. I can see the pride bursting out of your chest. Well done you. Hold your head up high.

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Simon says: I am so sorry for your loss. We recently lost our son too. He was murdered, as he tried to protect the honor of a woman and a child.

The Eulogy for your son is so perfect, that we would like to take some of the passages. It seems as though it was written for our son as well.

Thank you for your words. They have reached out into the lives of so many families. I am certain that you were ordained to write.

Earl's response to Simon, and others who have commented on his eulogy: Thank you to all that have read and commented on my Eulogy. That was the most difficult of times.
Hang in there.
Peace.

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Carlie says:  I'm a Mom who's missing part of her heart. I just lost my son on Dec. 31,2017 and my heart hurts like it has never before. Thank you for sharing. The pain is great. I am so sorry for your loss. My son was 48. God be with you and your family at this time and always.

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Stella says: My son, Ian just passed away and your tribute articulates exactly what I'd like to express during his memorial service.

I have gone ahead and used some of the text to boost my own. I just wanted to let you know and to thank you. 
With kind regards, Stella

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Mike Curtis says: I want to plagiarize your entire eulogy. It is spot on for my son Kyle who is 23 and died of a drug overdose on 29 January. We have his celebration of life in two weeks. The words you wrote for your son apply to so many young men taken from us prematurely. I'm going to assume, based on the past comments, that you will permit this, and I want to thank you for so eloquently putting into words my same thoughts.

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Maryrose says: I am so sorry for your loss. My son died a few days ago from a drug overdose and your eulogy was so beautiful that like many others I would like to use it during his memorial services. May your son rest in peace.

Susan's response to Maryrose: And yours too Maryrose. Kind regards,
Susan

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Randy says: Sir, I am feeling the pain that you endure. I will bury my son on Saturday. This is so very hard. I am searching for words to speak at his funeral. I would like request that I may use some of your eulogy to your son as I prepare to write my son's. I close with offering of condolence to you and your family.

Susan's response to Randy: Hi Randy, This is Susan who runs this website. Please go ahead and use the words you want. That's what the writer of this eulogy, Andrew's father, Mr Timmons, has given people permission to do. He would be pleased that his words are of service.
Kind regards,
Susan

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Junen says: Hi Sir, I would like to ask permission from you to borrow some lines from your son's eulogy.

You did not just write it for your son but also for us. You just described my special someone perfectly.

Your words are my source of strength to say goodbye. Your message to your son gave me courage to face the reality.
Respectfully,
Junen

Susan's response to Junen: Hi Junen, It's Susan here. I run this website. In answer to your question please see the comment from Earl Timmons just below. He says, "Share away!". Mr Timmons (Andrew's father) is very happy to have his words used. Please go ahead and take what you need. It is what he wanted.
Kind regards,
Susan

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Patricia says: This is beautiful, and I will be using some of it for my son Andrew in 2 days. He died last week at the age of 32. He was definitely a free spirit, and everyone loved him just like your son. Thank you.

Earl says in response to Patricia, (and others who have made a comment): Share away! To all who have commented, I say thank you.

Nearly 6 years now, and I still hold a heavy heart much of the time. There is no cure for a broken heart. No healing.

But to know that someone, anyone, was inspired to use a portion of my words to help ease their pain is an honor.

No permission needed, my text is to be shared, so share away. I ask only that you say hello as you pass by my words.
Peace.

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Grace says: Mr. Timmons, those were beautiful words that moved me out of my seat. I can see the love you had for your son and joy he meant to you.

With respect for you and your loss, I'd like to use a few of your words to lead me through my own. I just tragically lost my son, and words are so hard to speak, let along to find. There was a lot of strength and power in the words you constructed. God bless and I to look to heal an open heart. Thank you.

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Alison Ames says: Dear Earl, To write a tribute about my 29 year old son Alex Kelham for his funeral is like an impossible task. My heart is broken, and my soul kneels in the dust, trying to sum him up. He was my life.

My deepest condolences for your loss. Oh, to have even known your son would be an honour, no doubt. Your words have truly helped me and I thank you for finding the strength to write and share them.

Yours sincerely,
Alison Ames

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Andy says: Your words are beautiful, and a lot of what you say applies to my son, Stuart, who passed away back in March, aged 34.

I too would like to use some of these words, as they so describe my son's short life.

Our respective sons have passed, but memories will live on, Thank you.

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Andrea says: So sorry for the loss of your beloved son. Your eulogy was so beautiful.

My beloved son passed away last 1 year ago and we are now honoring his memory next month. I hope you don't mind that I will use a portion of your eulogy. My own words cannot express the enormous depth of sadness I am still enduring. The hole in my heart hurts terribly.

Thank you and my best wishes to you and your family.

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Karl says: What a beautiful tribute to your dear son. His presence will always be with you. I too lost a son. His tired heart stopped beating. He was 54.

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Steve Rooney says: Absolutely lovely. Lost my 22 year old in an accident a couple of weeks ago. We are heartbroken. With your permission I would like to use part of your text. It is so apt, something that can only be understood by those in a similar position. Bless you.

Susan says in response to Steve: Susan here. I'm sure Earl would be more than happy for you to take what you want from his text.

Steve says: Thanks from the UK. We went ahead and used part of the text in a service for my son in Bristol, England. The service was held in a church dating back to 1248 which was beautiful as was the contribution of a wonderful Canadian singer. The words from the text made the whole thing even more wonderful and I took pride in passing on the fact that someone who lives thousands of miles away wrote them. I told them your and your son's story Earl. Thank you everyone.

Susan says in response to Steve: Thank you for reporting back. Wishing you strength and love.

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Simon Thompson says: Thank you. I lost my son, also called Andrew, to a disease too. He was 26 yrs old. I am going to use your speech, with your blessing. Sounds like they were alike.
Cheers.

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Carlos says: I am sorry for your loss. Your love for your son is undeniably eternal. I am a 16 yr old kid from the Philippines who was inspired not only by your son but also by you, yourself.

My teacher showed this eulogy to our class in order for us to give importance to the people who surround us, and also to give a perfect example of how a parent shows their genuine love for their sons and daughters.

I immediately searched for this after I came home from school and now, I am here to thank you and your son for inspiring me to be like your son, and maybe if I get to have a child one day I will be like you.

Again, thank you, and I would like to say that he is guiding you from up there.

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Angela says: Your strong spirit shows though. I hope I can find the same strength. Here is the poem I wrote for my son which I read at his funeral. He also died from acute myeloid leukemia.

To Garry with love

I’m trying to find the right words to say,
A tribute to my son Garry, on his funeral day.
Even though each word is splashed with tears,
Because Garry leaving us, was all our worst fears.

From the day you were born, my beautiful son,
I held you close until your crying was done.
You grew up so happily, always a smile.
It’s easier to think you’ve only gone for a while.

As the eldest son you‘d put your arm around your brother,
With a heart full of love for your son, wife, father and mother.
It’s hard to accept that you are no longer here,
Garry, my beautiful boy, you were amazing, it’s clear.

You are locked in my heart, and I am saving the key,
To one day open it, when my soul is set free.
The pain is hard to bear now you’ve gone away,
I will love you forever. What else can I say?

Bless you Garry. Rest in peace, my boy.

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