By: Susan Dugdale | Last modified: 03-16-2020 | First published: 09-01-2010
Understandably many women feel a little daunted about writing a maid of honor speech for their sister.
After all this is an important task. You love your sister and the last thing you want to do is embarrass her. But just what do you say?
What are the best words to reflect your relationship with your sister? How do you sincerely share the happiness you feel for her and her new husband-to-be?
And where, on earth, do you begin?
The answer is here. It's straight forward and simple.
Grab a piece of paper, a pen, and start with a brainstorming session. Then follow the maid of honor speech template/outline below.
You'll come out the other end of the process with a short, simple and sincere speech: one that really does honor your sister.
The first step toward writing the perfect maid of honor speech for your sister is to collect your thoughts together, review them and then decide which of them you want to share.
The best possible way to do that is to brainstorm - simply jot down ideas about the points you think you want to touch on in your speech, just as I've done in the image above.
Allow yourself complete freedom to explore as many ideas as you can. Do not edit yourself!
Remember shared experiences - the good times, the hard times and the funny times. Think about the qualities you admire in her.
Put down whatever comes into your mind. Don't stop to worry about whether it's good, bad or appropriate. You'll review it later, and definitely don't stop to check your spelling!
If you run out of paper, get another piece. Keep going until you can genuinely think of nothing more.
You do not need to write full sentences or paragraphs - just notes. You want enough words to trigger your memory about what you thought would be good to say and that's all.
Next you will pick the best of these ideas and organize them into the 5 sections of the template below. This will give your speech a logical structure - a clear beginning, middle and end.
Obviously, the tone - that is, whether the speech is funny, amusing, sentimental or sincere you'll decide for yourself. That's governed by the stories and ideas you choose to share and the language you use to express them.
In the introduction it's customary to identify yourself because there may be guests who don't know you and don't know that you are the bride's sister. Next you welcome the guests, thank the bride and groom for letting everyone share in their day, and then you thank your sister for the privilege of being her maid of honor and the best man for his speech.
Next, you could share a humorous or anecdotal story about the bride from your childhood. This will give the audience a picture of your relationship with her, and also set the tone for the rest of the speech. Whether you choose to write something funny, serious or sentimental, the most important thing to remember is to be genuine.
This next section focuses on who your sister was and what she was doing before she met her groom-to-be.
For example, maybe your sister was focused on her career and never expected to find her life-partner. Or perhaps she was travelling the world when she found her match. Or perhaps she fell for the guy next door whom she's known since she was eight.
There are a couple of things to watch out for.
The first is to be mindful about sharing anything that could be overly embarrassing for anyone - your sister, her new husband, your family and friends.
In addition to that, please don't fall into the trap of sharing a tale or something about your sister that no one can relate to except for you and her. If you do that you'll find yourself looking at puzzled faces.
Next, transition to a paragraph about your sister and her husband. How did they meet? How has the groom changed your sister’s life?
You can talk about how inspiring their relationship is to you or share a humorous story involving your sister and new brother-in-law.
This part doesn’t have to be very long, but it's necessary as it brings your speech into the present. A good way to conclude this portion is by formally welcoming the groom into your family.
There are many possibilities for a conclusion. You could end with a quote, joke, spiritual advice, a toast or simple congratulations. Do try to keep with the tone you’ve set in the rest of the speech and end with what feels most appropriate for your sister.
I have other pages which you may find useful. For instance: